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Supa Dave: January 2010 Archives
While you're wasting your valuable free time online this weekend, I want you to ponder an important question: Which social networking site has the highest concentration of women who take trashy photos of themselves: MySpace or Facebook?
....JUST KIDDING! It's a trick question: Everyone knows the women of MySpace have the self-taken cell-phone skank-shot down to a science. Or do they?
--While the average woman on Facebook has a more respectable reputation, there's growing evidence to the contrary. If you want to compare, be my guest .
We'll start with FACEBOOK!.
Now MYSPACE.. YES SIRRRR!
....JUST KIDDING! It's a trick question: Everyone knows the women of MySpace have the self-taken cell-phone skank-shot down to a science. Or do they?
--While the average woman on Facebook has a more respectable reputation, there's growing evidence to the contrary. If you want to compare, be my guest .
We'll start with FACEBOOK!.
Now MYSPACE.. YES SIRRRR!
Before you run out and get that next tattoo, I want you to ask yourself this one question: Am I good with grammar and spelling?
--If the answer is no, then you need to find someone who IS, and get them to proofread your tattoo BEFORE you get inked. Because if you don't, you could end up stuck with a misspelled tattoo FOR LIFE . . . like this collection of boneheads we found online. (Huffington Post)
--If the answer is no, then you need to find someone who IS, and get them to proofread your tattoo BEFORE you get inked. Because if you don't, you could end up stuck with a misspelled tattoo FOR LIFE . . . like this collection of boneheads we found online. (Huffington Post)
Pro wrestler CHRIS JERICHO was arrested in Kentucky last night for being drunk in public, along with another wrestler named Greg "Hurricane" Helms. They were both released after posting a pretty measly bond of $120 each.
Here are their mug shots, where they're both still looking a little buzzed .
This year's federal budget deficit is estimated to be about $1.35 TRILLION. To give you some idea of how insane that is, one trillion is a 13-digit number. Or look at it this way:
--1.35 TRILLION pounds is the weight equivalent of 135 MILLION elephants.
--1.35 TRILLION years is more than 300 times longer than Earth has been a planet.
--If you wanted to travel 1.35 TRILLION miles, you'd have to circle the globe 54 MILLION times. Or you could travel to the sun and back, and still have a few miles to go.
--If you wanted to count to 1.35 TRILLION, at a rate of one number per second, it would take you more than 40,000 years.
--With $1 TRILLION, you could pay ALEX RODRIGUEZ'S salary 40,000 times. And you could finance the federal government's bailout of Goldman Sachs 216 times. Or look at it this way . . .
--In order to erase this year's $1.35 TRILLION budget deficit, every American would have to chip in $4,500.
--1.35 TRILLION pounds is the weight equivalent of 135 MILLION elephants.
--1.35 TRILLION years is more than 300 times longer than Earth has been a planet.
--If you wanted to travel 1.35 TRILLION miles, you'd have to circle the globe 54 MILLION times. Or you could travel to the sun and back, and still have a few miles to go.
--If you wanted to count to 1.35 TRILLION, at a rate of one number per second, it would take you more than 40,000 years.
--With $1 TRILLION, you could pay ALEX RODRIGUEZ'S salary 40,000 times. And you could finance the federal government's bailout of Goldman Sachs 216 times. Or look at it this way . . .
--In order to erase this year's $1.35 TRILLION budget deficit, every American would have to chip in $4,500.
Pamela Anderson. It's amazing that this buttoned-down brunette from Canada became America's most famous blond lifeguard. Not only that, but she debuted the "parlay a sex tape into a new level of fame" model that dozens of other celebrities have since tried -- AND she dated Scott Baio. Pretty much three-for-three on living the (North) American dream right there.
Jamie Foxx. Would it be too obvious to say he should blame this on the jhe-jhe-jhe-jhe-jhe-jheri curl? I don't care. I'm going for it.
Jennifer Garner. Ugly glasses don't definitively ruin a person's attractiveness level in their yearbook photo (see Charlize Theron's photo below for proof of that). But Jennifer Garner with ugly glasses, big hair, awkward bangs, and a sweater that should only be worn for grandma on Christmas or by a comedian talking about his sitcom life with Theo and Rudy -- THAT puts an irreparable mark on her attractiveness level.
I included a modern photo from when she was on a particularly exploitative episode of "Alias" -- I believe it was the post-Super Bowl episode several years back where, for the first few minutes, all they did was parade Jennifer Garner out in different lingerie outfits. I miss "Alias".
Jeremy Piven. The giant mouthful-o-braces really makes him look like less of a dick. Also, as a child, I'd describe the look in his eyes as "desperate"... as an adult, I'd describe it as, "hey, fuck you, buddy."
Jennifer Love Hewitt. I feel like Jennifer Love Hewitt is one of those super hot celebrities who tells a talk show host, "Noooo, I was sooo dorky when I was growing up!" And... I guess she's not lying.
George Clooney. As I was preparing the images tonight (and searching for an "after" photo of Clooney), my girlfriend and I had the following exchange:
Sam: "George Clooney has a horrible yearbook photo but damn, did he turn out handsome."I have reached the zone where there's absolutely nothing I can say that will elicit a reaction from her anymore.
Angie: "Definitely."
Sam: "If I had to nail one male celebrity it would probably be him."
Angie: [completely unfazed] "Yeah, he looked really good in 'Up in the Air'."
Jimmy Smits. It seems that, even after decades of taking photos, Jimmy Smits still cocks his head at the exact same angle as he did when he was a long-haired, thin-mustached, creepy-looking high schooler.
Ron Jeremy. Do you think anyone at his high school (Cardozo High School in Queens) picked up their yearbook in 1971, looked at his photo and said, "Yep, I bet this guy goes on to be the most successful male porn star of all time"?
Charlize Theron. I mean... she's just begging for the "She's All That" treatment here, right? Everyone had to see that under her Sally Jessy Raphael facade she was beautiful. (Everyone, that is, except the jock who bets his friend, the sensitive popular guy, that there's no way he could turn Charlize into the prom queen.)
Jimmy Fallon. He was in high school for that brief, brief beautiful moment (the very early '90s) when having a little dirt on your upper lip was a good look. That has never come back in style.
Tom Hanks. The saddest part of this photo? As brutal as his hair was in this yearbook photo -- and make no mistake, it's brutal -- it still looks better than his hair in "The Da Vinci Code".
And finally, I can't, in good conscience, include her in a list with real actors, but here's a must-see yearbook photo of Kate Gosselin of "Jon & Kate" fame...
All I can say is WOW... and to make matters worse, I'm not sure her husband is even old enough to drink... So I'm guessing she drank enough for BOTH of them!
Drunk people rule! See ya at the club tonight!
Drunk people rule! See ya at the club tonight!
A DATING WEBSITE FOR GOOD-LOOKING PEOPLE KICKED OUT 5,000 USERS BECAUSE THEY GAINED WEIGHT OVER THE HOLIDAYS:
In case you missed this story yesterday: There's an exclusive dating website called BeautifulPeople.com that only allows good-looking people to join. The idea is that good-looking people want to date other good-looking people, and this is the place for them to find each another.
--Anyway, I bring it up because recently, BeautifulPeople.com removed 5,000 users from their site.
--That's because the people they removed had posted new photos to their dating profiles that showed them sporting a few extra pounds of holiday weight. And the site's operators decided they were just a little too chubby to be considered "beautiful" now.
--According to the website's founder, quote, "As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld.
--"Letting FATTIES roam the site is a direct threat to our business model, and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded." Nice guy, right?
-And in other chubby-related news, a gym in the UK came out with a "delightful" new ad campaign warning people that, quote, "When the aliens come, they will eat the fatties first." You can read about that nonsense here . . .
(--You can ATTEMPT to join this ridiculous dating site here . . .)
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